Hello!

For my first blog, I thought I’d share a little about my experiences with horses and personal growth, and what I have in mind for future blogs. This is my story in a nutshell; my history, my horses, my mistakes, and my learnings that are improving my life.

I’m one of the lucky ones born into a horse family. My mom is an avid horse woman, and I grew up with horses in the backyard. One of my earliest memories is riding our beautiful Arabian mare, Relinza. She was white with brown freckles and a sweet disposition perfect for a little girl learning to ride. This particular day, mom was leading Relinza as we trotted around the yard. She said, hang on, we’re going to canter. I remember being so scared. I cried, afraid to go any faster, but with mom’s reassurance, I faced the fear and what a feeling that first canter was. The rocking horse motion was more fun than I expected, but the great joy and pride that ran through me ignited a passion. 

I couldn’t get enough time in the barn, and couldn’t learn enough about horses. I watched every video I could get my hands on (VHS because it was the late 80’s), subscribed to all the horse magazines, and put it all into practice with Relinza and every horse after. Competing in horse shows came next, and I spent a few years showing at local and 4H shows with our Quarter Horse mares in English and Western classes, along with some gaming. County fairs with midway rides were my favorite. I loved seeing the show grounds from above on the ferris wheel. 

A show friend of mine also competed in the American Quarter Horse Association (AQHA) circuit, and introduced me to her trainer. The step up in rider ability and competitiveness captivated me. I went all in, and I was pretty good. I was not so good over fences. I struggled to get the approach timing right, and my body position over the jumps never felt natural. But I excelled in flat classes. Equitation, pleasure, patterns, trail, both English and Western disciplines. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was using visualization techniques and manifesting my results.

I also didn’t know I was becoming a mean girl. Despite being raised in a loving family and attending church regularly, my heart hardened and I wanted to win at all costs. My trainer, a huge role model for me, mistreated people and horses and that became normal behavior in my eyes. I spent the next few years doing things that, looking back, are heartbreaking and embarrassing. This is one of the hardest parts of my story, but this is also where some of the best learnings are. 

It all came crashing down my senior year of high school with a massive ego death. I walked away from horses, afraid I would ruin any horse I rode. I went away to college and made life plans that didn’t include horses. I met my future husband, relocated to his hometown, and settled into a happy suburban life. I began a fulfilling corporate career and had two beautiful children. Several years later, three things happened one after another that triggered a spiritual awakening: my sister suffered a severe medical emergency and was clinically dead for 42 minutes; my grandma, the glue of our family, passed away after a short battle with cancer; and then covid hit. My search for meaning in life turned into a wide variety of personal practices to deepen my awareness and understanding. These practices include prayer, yoga, meditation, energy healing, shadow work, and things that many would consider woo woo.

Through my inner work and healing, I spent a lot of time reflecting on my childhood and teen years. Distance and time put things in perspective and I understood why it all happened; why it had to happen. I also realized the role horses played in my journey, remembered the joy they brought, and began to seek them out again. A short time later, I attended a riding clinic with my mom and her horses, and as we spent the week riding, laughing, and learning, something shifted. I cried the whole two hour drive home. I didn’t understand at first, but soon it became clear: horses belong in my life. I set about manifesting my next equine companion and couldn’t be happier with the outcome.

Life with horses in my 40’s looks different than in my teens. It’s not about me anymore, and it’s not just me and my horse. I want to spend time supporting my kids in their sports and interests, go on dates with my husband, and volunteer. I want to make time for my own personal well-being. I also have to work and spend significant time adulting. Deciding where and how to spend my time and resources, and living that out with gratitude and grace, is my latest growth edge. Finding peace and joy in surrender and sacrifice is a paradox that lands for me when I can get it right.

My horse, Rip, has also given me new learning opportunities. From developing a relationship and training a young, nervous horse, to overcoming his health challenges and taking on new adventures, the potential for new knowledge is boundless. I also have a new appreciation for ways I can be a better partner for him. I can be physically stronger and sit better in the saddle. I can be more clear with my cues, more patient, and more aware and receptive of what he’s telling me. Many of the shortcomings in our communication are mine.

The little girl who can’t get enough of her horse and is passionate about getting better is back. I’m learning to ground myself so I can gallop, figuratively and literally, and I want to share what I’m working on, both on and off the horse. That is the driving force behind these blogs. I’m excited to share my stories in the hopes that you can learn from my experiences, and continue to learn alongside me as new adventures and opportunities to become a better person unfold.

Much love to you and the horses in your life,

Heather